Tags

, , , , , , ,

https://blacklightcandelabra.wordpress.com/2015/02/23/culturally-and-linguistically-authentic-haiku/

This challenge offers both additional information regarding the poetry form known as Haiku and the opportunity to revisit that form, having treated it like math and completely missing the connection with nature (although I could argue with dicergent meaning and human nature my previous effort is still applicable – and I’ve seen quite a few with similar lack of nature theming). There’s a link on the Blacklight challenge page to an interesting article on haiku by Jim Kacian (and the potential to explore further within the New Zealand poetry org website). There’s also the suggestion to “..strive towards authentic form and sound…” with some explanation of  “…consonants used in Japanese…” suggesting the additional challenge of using these. (My previous discourse type notes re: haiku here)

So, I’ve had another play around with Haiku. Here are some of my attempts:

1.   Rain hammers windows,
churned by south-westerly wind
heaven sent, bellows.

2.    Misdisposed packets
caught up in strong breeze reaches
high skyward like kites.

Both the above Haiku reflect my experience of today’s weather. I had billows, first in the first haiku but then thought bellows was more apt. Next, as below, I tried incorporating some Japanese Yen terms, gleaned from a downloaded PDF document noted the other day during poetry research and reading. The final four efforts are just follow on free play.

3.    Rocky strange terrain
Akago no kokoro*
this Haiku’s a strain

4.    Tracing the raindrops
like misai no ichinen**
against steamy pane

5.   Man against nature
kokoro wo tomeru***
written in sand plain.

*Akago no kokoro (= mind of an infant / child’s mind) **misai no ichinen (=subtle trace of thought) ***kokoro wo tomeru (=drifting or shifting from one thing to another; the attention being taken by an object, transferred to it and staying there)

6.    Shadow of myself
never to be caught nor lost
until I’m a shell.

7.   March springs hope toward
warmer weathered time and sun
brightens the mundane.

8.    The whole world window*
opens and swallows me whole
like a cannibal.

(****inspired by The Cardiacs, song / album “The Whole World Window”)

So, I haven’t managed to achieve the poignancy or profundity suggested by the quote shown on the Blacklight challenge page quoting Steve McCarthy:- “So one thing that I think makes a real haiku is when the changes in nature reflect deep transformations in oneself.” I have managed in my final attempt to go with breaking the syllabic constraint by adding a sixth syllable in the last line:

9.   Like a rolling stone
perpetually gathers
no moss: no gain, just loss.

So, still using the principles of math in my Haiku, for being so inexperienced and lacking confidence or expertise in making genuine authentic Haiku type poetry outside (or within) the accepted structual form of 5-7-5 syllables. I haven’t read many haiku and still not ever so keen on the English version, not that I understand any other – but I love hearing other languages even when I don’t understand it and similarly visually.

I particularly enjoyed reading the Jim Kacia article and the suggestion that all these formalities can be abandoned and the form haiku still applied, I’d just need more time studying to get my head round how or why.

I started a new blog today (yes another one!) just for poetry, “Pitter Patter Poetry” a tidy blog for stand-alone-poetry without all my rambling. I resisted the urge to just copy stuff over from here and forced myself to revisit the Writing201(Poetry) day 10 sonnet task and write a new sonnet while making sure to break the rhyming couplet habit that came through in my first attempt. I’ll be hoping to post something poetic every day, even if only a few lines, to try and keep up the habit. i’ll still be using my space here like a rough workbook I think, to just keep talking away to myself and a repository for study and challenge notes and whatever else arrives here. So, two of my Writing201 (poetry) catch-ups covered – and thanks Blacklight Candelabra  for the push!

Advertisements